Il y a 7 ans

Il y a sept ans aujourd’hui, j’allais accoucher le lendemain, mais je ne le savais pas. Mon terme devait tomber entre le 30 novembre et début décembre.

C’était un jeudi et je concluais ma dernière séance de préparation à l’accouchement. J’ai ressenti à mi-séance les premières contractions, que la sage-femme s’inquiétait de ne jamais voir démarrer. Elles ne m’ont plus quitté jusqu’au lendemain.

Ça faisait quatre jours que j’étais en arrêt maternité, mais je continuais de travailler. Après tout, j’avais encore la semaine suivante pour me reposer.

Contractions, donc. À mon retour de la préparation pré-natale, j’allais de mon ordinateur au canapé en me tordant de douleur. Ni le boulot, ni la bouillotte, ni le sommeil n’en venaient à bout. Si c’était le faux travail dont parlait la sage-femme, il semblait tout à fait réel. Je l’ai donc appelée et elle suggéra qu’un bain chaud calmerait les crampes.

Vlad et moi n’avions pas eu le temps encore de faire cette séance photo de mon ventre, îlot dans une mer de lait; ce fut donc l’occasion. La seule, à vrai dire.

22 novembre 2007, bain de lait

Le lendemain était la répétition de l’après-midi passée, à ceci près que j’ai plus occupé le canapé que je n’ai travaillé. Mais pas à instant je pensais accoucher avant le terme.

Lorsque Vlad est rentré du bureau en début de soirée, il ne lui a pas fallu longtemps pour commencer à me convaincre d’enfiler mes baskets. Car dès son arrivée les contractions se sont beaucoup plus rapprochées; 4 ou 5 minutes. Je me souviens quand même avoir pas mal résisté. Je n’avais aucune envie d’aller à la maternité pour rien. Puis j’ai mis mes baskets, ou Vlad me les a enfilées.

Le trajet était une torture ! Chaque secousse et chaque virage me donnait l’impression que j’accouchais déjà. 18h30, arrivée à L’hôpital Clavary. Le plus long, je crois bien que ce fut de marcher depuis le parking, car je devais m’arrêter tous les dix pas.

Admission rapide, monitoring, transfert en salle d’accouchement. Avec le col dilaté à 9 cm, il n’était hélas plus question de pratiquer une péridurale, mais bien de le laisser sortir, ce petit. Ah non, nous n’avions pas “les étiquettes”. Vlad a parcouru un labyrinthe de couloirs pour les obtenir et revenir à temps. Non, nous n’étions pas allé à la maternité pour rien; 19h27, Adrien arrivait enfin.

23 novembre 2007, bébé Adrien dort

Joyeux 7ème anniversaire, mon poussin !

Doing something else –but what?

These days, I wish I knew other things so I could consider a career change. Instead, I often long for something else, brood, and sweep the thought away to do what I have to do, because that is a better use of time and energy.

I suspect it would be easier if I knew what else I’d like to do. Even better if I could readily do other things. As to learning new things, well, I don’t feel like I’m up to the effort, and I have not the faintest idea what.

I like my work, however, and so find puzzling that I should yearn for something else. The work is varied, challenging and interesting, the people are wonderful, the mission is a constant inspiration.

Perhaps it’s the long hours. Budgets have been shrinking, and so has the size of our team. Our workload, on the other hand hasn’t. Quite the opposite, it seems. Perhaps it’s the fact I have been around almost 16 years. I have been so lucky to progress in several teams and assume various positions. I’ve been in the team I’m in now for almost 10 years, full time for 7 years, and I have done so many different things and am doing so many other different things that it is truly mind-blowing. No, what I mean is the absolute time it represents.

The Consortium is twenty years old. It’s marvelous it’s still there, and its agenda is full to the brim. If I were to change jobs, wouldn’t it be perfect if it were before I’m in my forties?

Aha! I get it. This is a sort of mid-life work crisis, I’m having. Perhaps.

The future is what we build

Before I started my day, I read Trouble at the Koolaid Point, by Seriouspony [who writes “I’m not linking it to the blog, and it won’t likely stay up long”]. I had not heard about her until very recently, and reading her account felt like a punch in the face. It stayed with me since then. I think it’s going to stay with me a while.

Midway through her account, Seriouspony wrote:

“This is the world we have created.”

Later in the day at work, I followed tweets and news of the Keynote on the future of the Web that Tim Berners-Lee gave at the opening of IPExpo in London. He said many inspiring things in his habitual humble manner, but one in particular resonated with me. It was in response to a question from the floor related to the Dark Web. I soon found it in Brian’s timeline:

(The Register also quoted Tim at the end of a piece they published after his keynote.)

Kevin read Seriouspony too; here is his advice to which I live by:

https://twitter.com/kplawver/status/519866535922642944

And finally, Amy retweeted this:

https://twitter.com/kneath/status/519883872280928256

All is not white and all is not black, but there are some pretty dark grey stuff out there. Let’s be considerate of our fellow humans, please. Let’s stand up for ourselves. If the future is what we build, let’s build and nurture a world we can be proud of.

#sketch: Pomponette

Pomponette is a sweet female cat that lives in the neighbourhood. I don’t know if she has a home or just owns the neighbours instead. Pomponette is how we call her; the neighbor calls her Mimine.

She showed up in our garden, I remember, Adrien had been born only a few weeks or so. She’s friendly albeit a little wary. And she shows up most days. She likes very much to be petted but will not settle on anyone’s knees or be held. There is a lot in her face, size and built that reminds me of Emu, my own cat, who’s been gone more than a year now, so Pomponette does linger now. This is nice.

Yesterday we found her curled in an empty flower pot, sleeping in the morning sun. As she heard my approaching foot steps, she raised a cocked head, before yawning and stretching.

Made on paper (12×12 cm) with Pentel Brush Pen, charcoal and white, brown and terra cotta pastels..

Drawing of the cat Pomponette, ink and pastel