health – Page 3 – coralie's contemplations in markup

Exercising: 2022 review

2022 was the third year in a row after I started exercising daily. Before 2020, I was stubbornly against any form of exercise (I don’t even know why.) This is the review post of my exercising year 2022, following the review I wrote last year.

2022 was a good year. Not as impressive as 2021. I think I overdid it back then!

Raw numbers

Collage of two screens of the Fitness Stats app that crunched the numbers for energy: 273K, exercise time: 688h, steps: 3.6M, walking and running: 2955K, hiking: 130K, running: 146K, cycling: 1315K, yoga: 27h, elliptical: 67h, total workouts: 625

I covered 2955 km (1,836 miles) walking and running.

I cycled 1315 km (817 miles) in 4 months.

I exercised 688 hours.

I engaged in 625 workouts.

To put in perspective some of these tallies (generated by the excellent and free Fitness Stats iOS app):

In 2022 I walked or ran more than I drove! 2900 km (1,800 miles) vs. 2500 km (1,500 miles)
688 hours of exercise is equivalent to 28.6 days (roughly a month of February)
625 workouts (25 fewer than last year) mean that on average I engaged in almost two different activities per day

Burnout and anemia

I became aware a few years back that I have anemia. I had been giving blood four times a year (following the recommendation for women) until I was advised that however generous I wanted to be, it was better to donate twice per year. I was medicated the first time this was diagnosed but it was just a temporary fix. My body does not absorb iron very well. And since hemoglobin carries the precious oxygen to muscles, anemia leads to fatigue. Meh. I also burned out at work after Summer. So I gradually ramped down exercising to a gentler degree.

My Apple Watch is my sidekick

I respond very well to the daily coaching of my Apple Watch. I start my “activities” on it, launch from it the music, podcasts or audio-books that I listen to via my headphones (Apple AirPods Pro or Bose QC35, both of which have noise cancellation.) I heed its reminders, enter the monthly challenges, the limited edition challenges.

Monthly challenges

In 2022 again I earned all of the monthly challenges. They are determined based on recent activities and are meant to either keep you at the same level or elevate you a bit, so that at the end of the year you have improved.

366.7 km (11.8/d)
17x double move goal
31x close all rings
15x double move goal

3140 minutes (105/d)
23902 kcal (797/d)
31x close all rings
5x double move goals

22400 kcal (747/d)
14x 700 kcal
3x double move goals
5 walking workouts

Notes: The first challenges of each quarter were not easy and required extra effort. In addition to these three (January, May, September), June was also difficult because burning almost 800 kcal everyday of the month on average required intense sessions during the weekends in order to make up for the work week where it’s usually harder to fit longer workouts. The last three of the year were really easy and I welcomed the break!

The January 2023 challenge is to cover at least 4 kilometers a day 14 times.

New gear

I got myself a nice pedal assist mountain bike 😍 early September.

Smiling middle-aged woman wearing a bike helmet standing next to a dark grey mountain bike in a steep incline covered in dead leaves — Me next to my Nakamura eSummit 950 (picture by Daniel Dardailler)

Daniel asked me in the Spring if I might like to go biking with him once. To be honest, I wasn’t that chuffed and I said “sure, why not” but I didn’t think of it anymore until he asked again in the Summer. We finally went on the last day of August. It was A BLAST! We biked in the Esterel and I loved it so much that I bought my own e-mountain bike the same evening!

I bike as often as I can. With Daniel or not. To go places.

Screenshot of my longest and furthest cycling on 13 November: 6 hours, 96 km (60 miles), elevation gain of 1067 meters (3,500 ft). The map shows the round trip from home to Fréjus.

My longest and furthest cycling was on 13 November: 6 hours, 96 km (60 miles), elevation gain of 1067 meters (3,500 ft). I managed by saving as much battery as I could.

The advertised range of that e-bike is 80 km but in practice in the area it’s more accurate to plan circuits that do not exceed 50 km.

The part that was actual mountain biking was a small 9-kilometer area which I covered in less than 30 minutes! But going there was fun (and challenging) and going back along the coast was really beautiful. Great memory!

Aside: Even less use of my car

Since my teenage boy started high school in Cannes and takes the train I no longer have to drive him. I drove under 2500 km (1,500 miles) in 2022 and refueled only 3 times (180 liters).

I have continued walking, running (and now cycling) to places, to run errands, instead of driving which I do basically for grocery shopping.

Graphs

Screenshot of the Health app: Exercise Minutes, with daily average of 113 minutes in 2022. — Daily average of exercise in 2022: 113 minutes (January peaked at 156 minutes per day on average)

Screenshot of the Health app: active energy, with daily average of 747 kcal in 2022. — Daily average of active energy in 2022: 747 kcal (January peaked at 925 kcal per day on average)

Screenshot of the Health app: steps, with daily average of 9817 steps in 2022. — Daily average steps in 2022: 9,817 (January peaked at 16,712 steps per day on average)

Screenshot of the Health app: running and walking distance, with daily average of 8 km in 2022. — Daily average running and walking distance in 2022: 8 km (January peaked at 14.3 km per day on average)

Screenshot of the Health app: cycling distance, with daily average of 31.5 km in 2022. — Daily average cycling in 2022: 31.5 km per day (August is misleading because I biked about 40 km on one day that month)

Screenshot of the Health app: activity. — Activity graphs in 2022: move, exercise (both fluctuated), stand (steady at 19)

Screenshot of the Health app: weight, with daily average of 63,12 kilos in 2022. — Weight graph for 2022: 63.12 kg on average, slight decrease

Strava’s year in sport

One of the perks of being a paying subscriber of the sports tracking app Strava is the yearly report. See below.

Strava year in sport 2022 for Coralie Mercier — cover

363 days active, missing one day in May and one day in December. — cover

Burnout

I’m still in between feeling ashamed and being OK about having crashed and burned at work. I’m recovering from a burnout that was long in coming and even the recovery is long in coming!

Manifestation

The few signs which undoubtedly called my attention to the fact that I was burning out were:

Scattered thoughts and inability to keep one thought in focus
Difficulty to comprehend what I was reading
General sudden sluggishness in even the most mundane habitual tasks
Loss of words
Loss of hair

In truth, the sudden and continued loss of hair is what worried me and got me to make an appointment at my doctor’s. I was quick to discard all of the rest as just a collateral of sustained work done in a period of rush, such as we all regularly have. I didn’t lose all of my hair but I was losing enough every time I touched it that after a few weeks (months, really) it really bothered me. My body gave me cause to worry and act on it, since I was ignoring all other signs.

Diagnostic

My doctor ordered blood sample analysis which returned that I was in perfect health, so having ruled out a physical disease focused on a disease of the mind. After a few questions I was offered to be off work on medical leave.

Break

The doctor gave me a two-week medical leave at first and then extended it by the week, or every few weeks, for a total of 8 weeks. I met with the doctor after each extension.

During what I thought was the last extension I got really anxious about going back to work. I felt I was not ready and worried a lot. I described to the doctor that I had been worried sick the whole time, that I felt I had just one go at this and that if I returned prematurely I feared it would have been all for nothing. The last extension of the medical leave he gave me was for three weeks.

All in all, I did a whole lot of nothing, except for exercising, and did it very slowly too. I wasn’t too sad, or too distressed. I didn’t miss work. I dreaded it as I wrote. The doctor gave me pills to try to sleep better and more efficiently but the two types I tried did not work. When I wasn’t on the bike, or running, or walking, I watched a TV show that my parents gave me as a birthday present. I didn’t have a lot of bandwidth and headspace for much else.

I would have liked to do more, be that reading, or drawing, or even thinking but it just didn’t happen and I was OK with it because I knew I just didn’t have it in me.

The break was good and beneficial. Every one around me, including at work, was so supportive I am very lucky and appreciate how blessed I am.

Return

After 8 weeks off, I returned to work. It was very overwhelming but everyone was very nice, and careful to NOT make me feel overwhelmed. There was a few thousands email in my various mail boxes. I still remembered how to work, my passwords, Zoom meeting room numbers and the likes.

For many weeks, I was still at loss for so many words. That was one of the most unexpected signs, to be frank. Especially in English where my vocabulary is rich and broad (not to brag!) Today even, to a lesser degree I continue to struggle, and words are at the tip of my tongue or fingers.

It took me 4 or 5 weeks to get back in most of the flow of work and another 1 or 2 to actually feel I was almost back.

“Almost”, because I feel that I’m not back to being myself (yet?) Things still take me much longer than before 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s as though something in my brain restricts it from being fully functional. Maybe it’s a built-in security until such time that I can be back to my previous self, speed and abilities.

Addendum: Origins

2022-12-21 update: I had meant to include a section last night as part of this entry to shed a bit of light on the origins of my burnout, but I realize just now that I forgot it.

I had lost faith. It’s as simple as that. I could sustain a certain level of stress, anxiety, workload and frustration as long as I was *driven*. But when the drive disappeared, the entire balance (however unhealthy and wrong) broke.

I won’t go into details but I will say that I realised that my voice was not heard, my actions had no impact and the weight of that was too much for me.

Addendum: Hope

2022-12-22 update: I might have some faith still. And if not faith, at least hope.

Since I returned, I mostly focused on the parts of work that don’t require faith but execution.

The organisation is changing so there is hope I can try to make a difference. I really like our mission. I feel I still have what my former manager (our former CEO, who left almost a month ago) referred to as “unfinished business.”

May the fourth be with me (continuing to be a non-smoker)

Today is the one-year anniversary of when I chose to become a non-smoker.
A colleague of mine noted the date and asked if I chose Star Wars day on purpose 😀 Nope, total coincidence!

Screenshot of the app to track non-smoking duration: 1 year, 0 month, 0 day.

For a month or two, it was constantly on my mind and it was a daily challenge not to smoke. Then it waned. I thought about smoking occasionally and then I didn’t. I don’t remember the turning point but there was one after which I had become a non-smoker, not merely one resisting temptation.

The smell doesn’t bother me. Nor does it make me crave smoking.

Exercising: 2021 review

When I last wrote about exercising I found the totals quite unbelievable. I look back at those today with a smile, because the ones I now have 9 months later are even more unbelievable. So I’ll check back here in a year to see how relative this all is.

My Apple Watch is my coach

This wearable wonder of computing makes it very easy to stay on top of sports. The reminders can be annoying but useful and I noticed that I got those only when I slacked (hint, hint), which does not happen frequently. That’s how driven I am.

Monthly challenges

In 2021 I earned each of the monthly challenges, which are determined based on recent past progress and are meant to either keep you at the same level or elevate you a bit, so that at the end of the year you have improved. I wonder how big they can be after a while.

10x double move goal
180.9 km (6.5/d)
17x double move goal
30x close all rings

19x double move goals
349.5 km (11.7/d)
3695 minutes (120/d)
26700 kcal (861/d)

4220 minutes (140/d)
318.4 km (10.2/d)
27500 kcal (917/d)
4770 minutes (153/d)

Apparently there is a point after which every challenge rotates between kil(ometers), min(utes) and (k)cal.

In 2020 I earned all monthly challenges but one, which I decided not to go for (24100 kcal, or 717/d) because I knew I could not earn it even if it was the month of August.

The January 2022 challenge is to walk or run 366.7 km (11.8/d). I’m not particularly up for it but I want to do it anyway. I miss the easy challenges though.

New gear

Photo of me in the mirror wearing blue running tights, a blue sweater, and flip-flops.

I now rotate between 7 pairs of running shoes. I have also invested in some proper running outfits for chilly weather. It is to note that all of the sweaters I got were from the Men’s section. Not out of peculiarity but really because the colours are less flashy and the sizes fit me better because I have long arms.

My sidekick: Gizmo

Point of view: my dog, a yellow labrador, sitting on the ground and looking like he's smiling. My red running shoes and black leggings are visible

Gizmo is now 8 years old. He happily prances along and I’m very glad he’s with me. We both get our share of daily exercise, fresh air and adventures, and it gives me greater security to be accompanied by a muscular yellow Labrador. When it’s not too cold and we are next to a river he gets to swim too (but not in the sea because the sound of the ebb and flow scares him.)

Long gone are the days when he would lag at the end of the leash after running only 3 or 4 kilometers. We now go for 5K jogs once a week or twice, come back walking, and it’s perfectly fine. Or we just walk. Sometimes for two to three hours on the weekends, and on average for an hour and a half everyday.

Graphs

Daily average of exercise in 2021: 116 minutes (December peaked at 164 minutes per day on average)

Daily average of active energy in 2021: 773 kcal (December peaked at 996 kcal per day on average)

Daily average steps in 2021: 12340 (August peaked at 15859 steps per day on average)

Daily average running and walking distance in 2021: 10.2 km (August peaked at 13.4 km per day on average)

Activity graphs in 2021: move, exercise (both going up), stand (steady at 19)

Tallies of fitness and exercising metrics for the year 2021

Notes on the graphs

According to those tallies (generated by the excellent and free Fitness Stats iPhone app), my 2021 in sport can be broken down as follows:

711 hours of exercise (= 29.6 days, so a twelfth of the year)
3746 kilometers walked/run (whereas I drove a bit over 5000 km with my car)
… of which I ran 226 (average of 4K every week)
103 hours on the elliptical (this is equivalent to watching 123 typical TV series episodes, and guess what: that’s exactly what I did while on the elliptical)
650 workouts (on average I did almost two different activities everyday)

From an addiction to another

2021 is when I stopped smoking. I made up my mind in January or February and my strategy was to ramp up exercising, pick up an electronic cigarette, gauge if that was going to work, and carry on with the routine without smoking. That happened in May. I have not smoked since then. Woohoo!

But ramping up exercising meant that I burned more calories and therefore needed to up my food intake. Stopping smoking made me more hungry too, so I had two reasons to eat bigger portions.

I remember starting to eat as much and then a little more than my teenage boy! (Who abandoned basketball during the first year of the pandemic, and now more or less refuses to walk or hike with me even every now and then.)

I gained a lot of muscles apparently

I was a bit dismayed when I saw my weight ramp up slowly but very very steadily. It has now stabilized after 8 months or so, sometime in September.

However, my clothes continue to fit me so that means that I lost fat and gained (6 kilos of) muscles.

Weight graph for 2021: 62.42 kg on average (current trend is 63-64 kg)

Strava’s year in sport

One of the perks of being a paying subscriber of the sports tracking app Strava is the yearly report. See below.

Aside: I used to complain a lot about how that app was geared towards triathletes only. They fixed almost all the things I complained about and now it celebrates and motivates every kind of athletes, not just those who cycle, run and swim.